| "Biting my lip 2 tranfer this pain, ur gone and I'm still going thru withdrawl" |
[entries|archive|friends|userinfo] |
|
| "Finding my way back to, all the promises that we made..." |
[Apr. 11th, 2006|07:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | in a chair | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | butch walker-mixtape | ] |
So. I was bored and realized its been a long time since I played with this thing. BUT i think i will update more often. even tho no one even reads this ne more. Except prolly sarah yonts (whom i love dearly lol)
ok so hmmm my life lately.
Im doing so bad in school i dont even know wat to do ne more. im failing a lot and prolly have to take summer school. actually i know i do.
socially the only stuff i really do is go to bolingbrook or stay in chicago and hang out with markie and my boyfriend (yes katie has a bf finally hehe), I smoke entirely too much pot for my small little body but i dont give no fuck.
so i really dont feel like talking or bitching bout all the bad things going on in my life so ill talk bout nick.
Ok so im pretty gay for him already. Im trying not to rush things but feelings move so fast sometimes and there is no stopping mine at this point. hes such a great guy. i just really love being around him and he makes me feel so much better. when im with him i feel like im worth something and that he cares as much as i do. i can just like lay around with this kid and not have a care in the world and that is the best feeling ever. :)
Ummmm im on spring break right now so no school for me, but im gonna start actually attending school and trying a lot harder cuz i need to stop fucking up. i know i can do better.
well im off. byebye.
go download if u have ne wanting to listen to good music these 3 songs
Self Against City- The Process
Marvelous 3- Cigarette Lighter Love song
From First to Last- Note to self |
|
|
| "note to self:i miss u terribly..." |
[Feb. 19th, 2006|08:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | howie day-she says | ] |
yawn...well i forgot i had one of these bad boys lol. so yes life right now...hmmm still sucks! haha wat a fuckin shock.
boys hahahaa im an idiot and am prolly fuckin up a possible amazing relationship cuz im completely infactuated with this boy that ive been "with" for awhile....we never dated or nething but i wanna be with him so bad, he makes me love fighting lol. we fight sooooo much, its like if we ever dated (which we wont) i dont think we would have ne thing to fight about lol.
other than that, ive been in oaklawn hanging out with my buddies a lot. i have a lot of good times but i feel guilty cuz i feel my best friend slipping away and it sucks cuz no matter what i do to fix things it doesnt seem like ne thing will get better.
i <3 her more than ne thing and i think she knows it. just dont know if she cares...
jeffrey binks bday is soon. i <3 her.
lots and lots of new pics for u guys to play with
www.photobucket.com-allisterrawk24
NEW ALLISTER PICS UP THERE TOO.
allister march 8th at the house of blues with mest. for my bday bitches :)
cuz im lucky and my fave band plays on my bday :) |
|
|
| "its all in ur head..." |
[Jan. 6th, 2006|06:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | halifax-sydney | ] |
ugh..................................i hate this feeling.....and the feelings that will follow
allister is playing on my birthday, thats amazing...
my mood sucks. sorry
ive been having lots of fun but that fun will pay off...i know it. |
|
|
| "when soul meets body.........." |
[Dec. 31st, 2005|06:35 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The early november-decoration | ] |
OMFG i havent updated in ages, i apoligize. ummmmmmm well lately, i HAVE been missing amanda, have been hanging with markie a lot, working a lot, being upset a lot, hanging with new ppl a lot. feeling like poo a lot.
well to start off tonight i guess i will tell u about. its 12:39 and im not tired yet, im not drunk ne more, i seen tucker tonite, hes a great guy, cocky arrogant and thank god i only see the boy once every few months cuz he is a riot.
now im at georges with markie and this boy mike(my chick)
AMANDA I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3
2mm is new years, im gonna get so fuckin wasted, im excited, no new years resolution, i wont keep it. :(
next week i work mon-thurs and thurs nite im sleepin at crystals with amanda...
then my break is over after that weekend. LAME=SCHOOL
lol i dont like the postal service, they are kinda boring...well rite now, maybe id like them in a different mood, i wanna listen to allister...*sigh* |
|
|
| "chapter 3, the lies lawyers never tell.." |
[Nov. 28th, 2005|10:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | panic!at the disco-time to dance | ] |
so im at amandas cuz my computer is still broken :(
i really really really really really really miss dan a lot.
ive been hanging out with old friends lately, jessica, kayla, sarah, just to catch up with lost times.
i need a new job...ne suggestions?
my xmas presents are gonna suck cuz i have no money.
my winter is starting off to no good...
wel im going back to eating my chips.
<3 |
|
|
| "i should be ashamed of this, im not!" |
[Nov. 25th, 2005|07:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the audition-the ultimate cover up | ] |
well
im torn with a lot of things and cant even put into words how i feel
i just know i love my friends and dont wanna loose them
i spend all my time with my friends and i dont care bout skool or feeling better or ne thing. its scary. i love the audition they are a good band.
i got new pics but i dont have a scanner.
amanda makes my heart giggle
kevin marosey poo makes a pretty grl. lol
*sigh*
thank u sarah for letting me on ur puter since mine is broken |
|
|
| silence |
[Nov. 17th, 2005|11:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | showoff-waiting for you | ] |
im so tired
i need a new job cuz mine i work a day a week and its bullshit all of a sudden and i dont wanna be broke and i need to get my friends good xmas gifts.
im gettin really smashed this weekend so no one expect to hear from me, i will not be accessible, i will be relaxing haha
i seen markie :)
i went out to bolingbrook, i missed her so much
i <3 amanda lesbian bear
"when i look in ur eyes, i see much more than u, i cant beileve how fuckin strange u really are..." |
|
|
| "baby dont move at al, cuz ur about to break my fall, stay where u are, staring at the stars..." |
[Nov. 16th, 2005|02:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | butch walker-race cars and goth rock | ] |
i love butch walker so much, he played the most amazing show monday night. like i cant even put in words how great it was :)
its been one year since me and kamil broke up...woopty doo lol
work sucks, they cut my hours, fuckers
i met a boy named pat, he is fun
i hang with amanda a lot, shes nuts, i <3 her
i miss markie
blah thats it |
|
|
| "fall asleep to me, ill be there when u wake up..." |
[Nov. 12th, 2005|09:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sublime-date rape | ] |
senses fail owned the metro and house of blues. the early november was swell too. i met a boy named Pat yesterday, he is fun. I got all crunk with him yesterday and stayed over near Depaul and went home and got yelled at cuz i didnt tell the parentals where i was, but ya 4 hrs of sleep, took the train home, showered, went to work, that was LAME- i hate working, my new store sucks ass. FUCK XMAS. im way exhausted. night <3 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2005|12:22 pm] |
|
senses fail senses fail senses fail senses fail senses fail senses fail
the early november:)
saves the day :)
on to night 2 of them...
woooooooooooooooooo |
|
|
| "go to hell, who needs u? i say that cuz i dont beileve u" |
[Oct. 29th, 2005|08:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  horny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | hawthorne heights-nikki fm | ] |
 Punchline is awesome, GO listen to them...on purevolume...NOW!!!!
So my weekend so far, yesterday went to school super late at like 930, then went out with markie, paula, and jill....good times yo. we were all over the place acting a fool lol. then me and markie smoked mad style with amber and ken then me her and erin met up and went by this guy joe and smoked sum more woot!!! i was super duper fucked up and slept well, blew off detention dismorning, erin and markie left, i showered went to watch my friend tuckers band practice, his band was pretty swell, its a shame i couldnt watch their show 2nite but i may go get crunk with all them 2nite... i hope so...hehe
i <3 parked cars in playground parking lots in daylight.
'you make me hard when i'm all soft inside
I see the truth when i'm all stupid-eyed
the arrow goes straight through my heart
without you everything just falls apart
my blood just wants to say hello to you
my fear is warm to get inside of you
my soul is so afraid to realize
how every little bit is left of me
take me with you
without you everything just falls apart
it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces' |
|
|
| "look at what we've all turned out to become..." |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|09:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | smashing pumpkins-stumbelleine | ] |
sry for the lack of updates, ive been miserably busy, got to see markie this weekend that was decent. getting fucked up this weekend, plannin on making an ass of myself. im so fuckin sick of guys, i really really am, ive been trying to be patient in this dating game but it just seems not worth it ne more.i miss so many ppl...argh. fuck i hate the cold, it brings out the fucked up side of me, i just cant let myself get as fuckin bad as i was last year...the question is now am i gonna let myself get better than last year...or worse.... |
|
|
| "i can honestly say...that i never ever ever felt this way..." |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|10:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | allister-level ground | ] |
i need new books to read.
im missing a lot of school cuz my grandpa is sick and i have to take care of him.
i dread my progress report...it should be here tomarrow.
the new allister cd is so fuckin great i strongly suggest u go get it its called Before the Blackout. So far number 8 and 9 are my faves...much love for the allister baby! woot woot.
new pictures on the photobucket.... username - allisterrawk24
if ur gonna take any just let me know.
ummm i get my check this weekend so i wanna get drunk and stupid :)
blah im such a bad kid...watever. i dont care.
i found a very old stupid picture of HIM...it made me laugh but then made me realize that he was really fat when i was with him and i must have really loved him cuz i never noticed it trully until today. i talk to this girl liz about these things, she is funny as hell and agrees with me a majority of the time.
katie hates chemistry, geometry, and honors british literature, im not failing cuz i copy. :(
i feel very dumb,
sleep time. |
|
|
| "single is the way for me, come play with me ahhh" |
[Oct. 10th, 2005|05:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | allister-2am | ] |
the last few days....
work. blue puckers. cigarettes. blood brothers. no no dance :)
movies, food, friends, drama, sleep :)
school 2mm :(
the next few days, work, school, friends (maybe)
that time of the month sucks...blah.
im going to listen to my new alister cd. AGAIN. for the 20450436945894 time today |
|
|
| i listened to a lot of music today |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|07:55 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | allister-scratch | ] |
So I was in a music mood all day and now I'm bored. So here was my playlist for the day.
Allister-D2
The Academy is-Checkmarks
Panic at the Disco-Its time to Dance
Bright Eyes-First Day of my life
Armor For Sleep-Car Underwater
All American Rejects-Your Star
The Used-The taste of ink
Alkaline Trio-Time to waste
August Premier-Fireworks and Alcohol-entire cd
Much The Same-Quitters Never Win-entire cd
Weezer-Say it aint so
Vertical Horizon-Everything you want
Deftones-Change
New Radicals-Someday We'll Know
Punchline-Getting there is getting by
Nine inch nails-Perfect Drug
Moneen-Passing of America
Cold-Stupid Girl
Sozzi-Letting Go
Sixpense None the Richer-Kiss me
The Early November-Ever so sweet
HIM-Together in death
The Click Five- Pop Princess
Gin Blossoms-Hey Jealousy
Smashing Pumpkins-Disarm
and now listening to Allister-Dead Ends and Girlfriends album |
|
|
| " baby join me in death..." |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|06:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | HIM-Join me in Death | ] |
So me and Dan are now just "friends". Boys are fuckin dumb.
I got to see Aaron today. That cheered me up mucho!, I <3 that kid. He moved to Kentucky so it was nice to see him.
Butch walker on thursday :)
ALLISTER NEXT WEEK :)
homework. peace. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
kamilsbaby423's journal
crazy
sore
dan <3
dan again<3